Plus, register to vote for the upcoming city elections.
01.30.2025 6AM-Top banner logo-small.png

Subscribe

Today’s Forecast

57º | 24% chance of precipitation

Sunrise 7:40 a.m. | Sunset 6:07 p.m.


Artificial insults

 A vibrant aerial view of Chattanooga, Tennessee, showcasing the Tennessee River with multiple bridges, including the iconic Walnut Street Bridge with its blue trusses. The image captures lush green parks, walking paths, and a mix of modern and historic buildings in the downtown area. In the background, Lookout Mountain rises, partially covered by clouds. The river reflects the sky, and boats are visible along the shoreline. The scene is framed by a mix of urban development and natural landscapes.
We can take a joke, right Chattanooga? Besides, as Charlie Chaplin said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” | Photo by Kevin Ruck via Chattanooga Tourism Co.
We set our sidesplitting sights on a good old fashioned, lighthearted comedy roast of Chattanooga and took our humorous intent to ChatGPT, the online AI chatbot that uses natural language processors to generate text-based responses.

Here’s what it had to say — if you can handle it.

Can you roast Chattanooga, TN?
Ah, Chattanooga — the “Scenic City,” where the scenery is pretty, but the city part is a bit... underwhelming. You’ve got the Tennessee River winding through downtown like it’s trying to escape, and honestly, who could blame it?

Speaking of traffic... How are we doing?
How does a city with a population smaller than most high school football rivalries have gridlock every single day? The intersection of I-24 and I-75 is like playing Mario Kart, except the only power-up you get is rage.

Give Chattanooga a real compliment.
Alright, Chattanooga, here’s the real deal: for all the roasting, you truly are a gem of a city. Few places manage to strike the balance you’ve got between stunning natural beauty and small-city charm.
The roast goes on

Events

Thursday, Jan. 30

Garden Bros Nuclear Circus | Thursday, Jan. 30-Sunday, Feb. 2 | Times vary | Northgate Mall, Hixson | Free+ | Join the circus for a show featuring special effects, aerial artists, a human cannonball, motorcycles in the Sphere of Fear + more family fun.

Friday, Jan. 31

TN Songwriters Week | 7-10 p.m. | Barking Legs Theater | Free+ | Come out to cheer on local talent as they take the stage for a chance to qualify in this annual songwriters competition.

Saturday, Feb. 1

10th Birthday Bash | Saturday, Feb. 1-Sunday, Feb. 2 | Times vary | Vinterest Hixson, Hixson | Free+ | Celebrate the shop’s birthday with gift certificate giveaways, sales, and tastings.

Sunday, Feb. 2

Couple Shuffle | 9 a.m.-12 p.m. | Tennessee River Park Pavilion | $19+ | Sprint with your sweetheart or run solo on this course that includes photo-ops + a finish line filled with sweet treats.
Events calendar here
Click here to have your event featured.

Tech

Snag an iPhone 13 for under $150

Presented by Total Wireless
Total Wireless brand creative with white background.
Enjoy 12x faster speeds with “America’s Favorite Network.” | Photo by Total Wireless
Didn’t get them that iPhone they wanted for Christmas? Redeem yourself with this deal:

Get the iPhone 13 for only $149.99 when you switch to the Total 5G Unlimited or 5G+ Unlimited plan on Total Wireless.

Read: No data limits. No surprise fees. No contracts. Just everything you want, with nothing that slows you down.
Make the switch

News Notes

Civic

In case you missed it, the deadline to register to vote in the upcoming city elections is Monday, Feb. 3. Register online, by mail, or at the Hamilton County Election Commission office to vote for Chattanooga’s mayor + city council members for the next four years.

Biz

Today, Jan. 30, marks the grand opening of Chase Bank’s first two branches in Chattanooga. The consumer + commercial banking business now has locations on Gunbarrel Road and Cherokee Boulevard for patrons.

Community

Registration is open for Crabtree Farms’ Urban Farm Workshare Program. Applications will be accepted on a rolling basis for each season + based on availability and willingness to work on the three-acre urban farm. See all opportunities and apply.

Edu

Chattanooga Girls Leadership Academy (CGLA) was recently awarded the College Board’s AP Computer Science Female Diversity award for its efforts to improve female representation in computer science. CGLA is one of 847 schools across the country to receive this recognition.

Cause

Vanderbilt University has opened its state-wide “Understanding the Needs of Tennesseans with Disabilities” survey. Residents are encouraged to take ~15 minutes to share feedback on what is + is not working well within the community. The responses will be shared with Chattanooga’s Mayor’s Council on Disability.

Finance

Did you know some credit cards can actually help you get out of debt faster? (It sounds wild, but it’s true.) The secret: Find a credit card with a “0% intro APR” period for balance transfers. This one even offers 5% cash back on your purchases, helping you save even more while you pay down your debt.*

Wellness

Simplify healthy living for your whole family. Thrive Market brings groceries free from 1,000+ harmful ingredients right to your doorstep. Sign up to get 30% off your first order, plus a free gift valued at $60.*

Health

Ready to feel better about your weight-loss goals? Through Hims & Hers, you’ll get the cheapest 12-month GLP-1 plan, plus expert care and personalized support. From custom medications to snack ideas in the app, it’s all designed just for you. Start your free assessment.*

†Please note: Comparison based on 12-month plan prices for compounded semaglutide from 12 leading competitors as of December 2024.

Learn

Chattanooga, for 100

Frieda and Garnet Carter
Frieda and Garnet Carter enjoy a game of mini-golf at Rock City in the early 1920s. | Photo by Picnooga
Here’s something pretty nifty about the Scenic City that you may not know: the first patented mini golf course was created in Chattanooga in 1927 by Garnet Carter, a true fore-father. Carter was also the founder of Rock City Gardens.

But that’s not all. Chattanooga even has its own font. No, seriously — back in 2012, Chattanooga became the first city in the US to create its very own font, “Chatype.” You may recognize the font on signs hanging downtown, bike lanes, and even the Chattanooga Public Library.

Did these two little-known facts blow your mind? Wait until you read 18 more interesting facts about Chattanooga by clicking the button below.
Uncover more knowledge

The Buy

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Dress up your space with these adorable + affordable decorations.

💗 Some shiny and on-trend XOXO balloons.
💗 Pastel heart-shaped bowls — perfect for storing Valentine’s Day candy.
💗 This whimsical heart-shaped wreath with hues of pink, purple, and yellow.
💗 These vibrant window clings for less than $10.

Bonus pick: It’s not decor, but we’re obsessed with this heart-shaped Dutch oven.
More worth The Buy

The Wrap

NOOGA | Haley Bartlett wrap headshot
Fun fact: I’ve traded the Scenic City for Park City, UT this week to enjoy the Sundance Film Festival (a long-awaited dream of mine). The excitement has me looking forward to the annual Chattanooga Film Festival slated for June 20-28. Get early bird passes online + stay tuned for more event details.

Send us a scoop, question, or feedback

ADVERTISE | GUIDES | EVENTS | GAMES | SHOP | SUPPORT

Content marked with an * is paid advertising. Content marked with an ^ is created by our content studio.

The company may also generate commission from affiliate links in the newsletter.

Change your preferences or unsubscribe here.

Copyright © 2025 6AM City Inc, All rights reserved.

P.O. Box 2505, Greenville, SC 29602