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Susan Schnatz is a registered nurse who is currently working from her home on the North Shore.
The anxiety comes in waves. We had such big dreams for 2020. But then; Pandemic. People sick and dying all over the world and in the U.S. Right here. In our country where we don’t expect these things to happen. It is almost surreal. New York City is a battle zone. Tennessee, where I live, has been more fortunate in that it was not pummeled in the way NY City was, but still…illness. Death. Shutdowns. Job loss.
Our connection to other humans has been cut off at the knees. We’ve been ordered to stay inside our homes in the name of public safety. We wear masks and gloves. We carry hand sanitizer around like a gun in a holster and brandish it as our weapon of choice. We avoid getting within 6 ft of others. If you don’t already live with them, you are expected to stay away from family and friends. How sad. How lonely for those that live by themselves and have no one to touch or connect with on a basic human level.
We don’t know when this is going to end but everyone is getting restless. Groups gather in cities to demonstrate their contempt at the governments’ efforts to stifle their civil rights; their freedom to socialize and work. Many gather without protection or distancing, thus endangering those who choose to “shelter in place” in order to protect themselves, their family, and “flatten the curve.”
As if the threat of contracting a potentially lethal virus isn’t enough, the fear of losing everything we’ve spent our lives working for looms continuously overhead. If you are lucky enough to still have a job, will you be able to hold onto it until things get back to “normal”? How will we pay our bills? Keep a roof over our heads? Feed our children? Our 401Ks have taken a hard hit as the market teeters between rebound and collapse. Will I ever retire? And where is my stimulus payment? Shouldn’t I have that by now?
The anxiety comes in waves. So much stress. One moment on the verge of a panic attack, the next feeling calm and thinking this will all be over soon. The back and forth of emotional extremes take a toll. Memes on Facebook abound regarding everyone becoming obese alcoholics by the time things go back to “normal.”
The government bickers over who to blame. China? Trump? Democrats? Republicans? None of that helps anyone. They toss money at the American people, small businesses, airlines, hospitals. They order companies to produce ventilators and PPE so that the healthcare workers on the front lines can help the sick without becoming sick themselves. It all sounds good, but the system is flawed. Hospitals still claim they don’t have the supplies they need. Small business loans ran out of funds too quickly. Record high unemployment claims overwhelmed the states’ computer systems. And where is my stimulus check?
The anxiety comes in waves. However, if we’re willing to take a deep breath and focus, we can see that there have been positive events that have occurred during this time of fear, worry, illness, and financial insecurity. People have come forward to volunteer. Others offer to bring food and supplies to their elderly neighbors. Animal shelters are seeing empty kennels for the first time in years. Families and friends turn to technology and plan group meetings and chats to keep in touch and check in on each other. The air has grown fresher, the water clearer. Walking around my nearly deserted city of Chattanooga, I note how clean the streets are. No litter on the sidewalks. This extends to the rest of the planet as well. As production and traffic come to a near halt, the Earth has been given the much-needed chance to heal.
People have started realizing that hugs, family gatherings, dinner with friends, and a concert in the park are not things to be taken for granted, but cherished. Every opportunity we have to spend time with loved ones is a gift. Every day that we have a job is a gift. Every day that we stay healthy is a gift. More of us notice that now.
I don’t know if things will ever get back to “normal” as so many dream of. I’m not sure that “normal” is what we should be aiming for; after all, it is a moving target. “Normal” has always changed. It’s supposed to. As we grow, advance, learn, and evolve, “normal” changes. As “out-of-our-control” life events happen, “normal” changes. And so do we. That’s what life is about and if there is one thing I am certain of, it’s that we humans are resilient. We have been pushed down more times than we care to count, and have dusted ourselves off, and gotten back on our feet, ready to take on the next rival. Ready to become better versions of ourselves.
This time will be no different. It may be hard and it may take a while, but we will exist and thrive in a new normal…until another inevitable event pushes us on to the next big challenge and the cycle continues.
The anxiety still comes in waves….but so does hope.
